I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
