Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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