Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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