Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
