Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
