i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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