Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
cat food counts as protein by the way
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
