yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
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