I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Randomize
