We're facebook friends in real life
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
