well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
