There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
