We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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