I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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