i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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