He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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