just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
