Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
