Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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