Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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