so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
