Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
