What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
