Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I touched a dick in church today
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
