Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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