dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i barfeds in our rink
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
