Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
