i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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