real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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