honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Randomize
