think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
