Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
