So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
