I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
