whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
