So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
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I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
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Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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