I'm sorry my penis didn't work
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
