apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
