Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
well I can't set my house on fire every night
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just got carded by a ten year old.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
