Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
