That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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