I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
