we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
