I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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