areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
