Small penises have feelings too.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
