I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
even my farts smell like vagina
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
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come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
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I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize