the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
