She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Two words: nipple clamps
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