Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
