you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
