I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
