HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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