God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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