isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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