My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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