i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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