i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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