haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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