I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
hell yes lets make some ravioli
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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