By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
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